


Thats a Lot of Boys

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: 19 Jeremys, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Crack Written Seriously, Crossover, Dimension Travel, Elemental AU, Fluff, Fuck Mountain Dew universe, M/M, Many Boys, No Smut, Personality split au, Polyamorous Character, Royalty AU, Spider jerm, Trans Character, celestial kings au, mermaid au, twins au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 08:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16636793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: I asked Elliot what would happen if a bunch of the Jeremy and Michaels from our other fics met. It was as confusing to write as I expected.





	Thats a Lot of Boys

**Author's Note:**

> If u know the fics all these reference ur a real one and also a fool for reading so much of our weird shit. Credit to Arieryn for the celestial kings au!
> 
> Good luck trying 2 read this

Michael had been taking care of Tala and Benjie on his day off, the news playing idly in the background. He’d overheard something about the stars aligning perfectly for the first time in thousands of years, but he hadn’t been paying attention. He’d figured it didn’t mean anything, his day carrying on as usual. Jeremy got home from work and the two of them tended to the children for a while until their front door opened. Neither of them knew what to do when they saw a younger version of themselves enter, looking just as confused as they were.

What was even more curious was how young Jeremy seemed to be glowing, and young Michael floating inches off the ground.

“Um?” Michael gathered the twins up into his arms. “Wh- What?”

Jeremy stayed right behind Michael. 

The glowing and younger Jeremy looked scared until he locked eyes with the twins. “Babies!” he exclaimed. 

Michael stepped back. “Who are you?!” 

Young Michael stared at the children with wide eyes. “Are those- We get kids?! That’s amazing!” He started floating higher.

Young Jeremy held onto him securely. “I thought time bending was a myth! But look at our future! They’re so cute!”

“Uh, what?” Jeremy asked elegantly. 

Older Michael eyed them. “How are you floating?! And glowing?! Who are you?!”

Young Jeremy scoffed. “We’re you!”

“Then why are you doing that?!”

“Doing what?”

“The- The floating thing!”

Young Jeremy giggled. “Oh, you know. He’s either excited or horny.”

Older Michael blinked in confusion. “Even if you are us with some weird powers, how are you here?!”

Young Jeremy shrugged. “I thought it was a time bender or something, but what do you mean some weird powers?”

Before Michael could respond, a ball of fur came bounding into the room. “Princess!”

Both of the Jeremys cooed at the puppy. The glowing one bounced on his feet. “How cute!” he said. “I love her!”

Peaches seemed confused, looking between the pairs. Eventually she just barked, spinning in a circle happily.

Jeremy leaned down to scoop her up, much to the younger Jeremy’s dismay. The shorter boy pouted, his glow dimming. 

Floating Michael tsked. “You made him sad!”

Older Michael shifted the cooing babies in his arms. “Well-” 

Before he could continue, however, the front door opened once again. 

Yet another pair of Michael and Jeremy stepped in. The Jeremy was wearing a long dark blue robe, and looked quite confused. 

Older Jeremy blinked in surprise. “What are you wearing?” That should not have been his first question, but it came out first. 

The robed Jeremy whacked his Michael, who was dressed similarly but in warmer colors. “I told you we should have changed.”

“Damn, well, how was I supposed to know?” The robed Michael pouted. “We’re you, but as the sky.”

Old Michael just gaped. “What?”

The new Jeremy adjusted his silver halo. “He’s the sun,” he said, “and I’m the moon.”

The glowing Jeremy gasped. “What?!”

Sun Michael elbowed his Jeremy. “Woah, check them out!”

Moon Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Seriously? This kid can glow on his own and I can’t?”

Peaches wriggled in Jeremy’s arms. Another pair entered.

This time, the Michael was accompanied by someone different. 

Moon Michael blinked. “Who are you?”

The new boy was a little pudgy. He coughed. “Uh, Jeremy?”

The other Jeremys shook their heads. 

“Oh God,” Older Michael groaned. “What’s happening?!” 

Older Jeremy held Peaches close. “I’m kinda scared but also extremely intrigued.”

A whole new pair of boys walked in next. They didn’t look much different from the standard. The accompanying Jeremy blinked at the pudgy one. “Jared?”

Pudgier Jeremy sighed. “Wrong twin, buddy.”

New Jeremy made a face. “...What?”

Old Michael took a seat on the couch, setting the babies in his lap. “You have a brother? Named Jared?”

Floating Michael wandered over to inspect Moon Jeremy.

Moon Jeremy blinked at the floating boy. 

Older Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t have a brother.”

The different looking Jeremy sighed. “Uh, yeah? He’s my twin? Why do you all look weird?”

Old Michael squinted. “You look like Jeremy’s co-worker.”

Sun Michael shifted closer to his Jeremy, eyeing the floating version of himself. “Hands off, bud.”

Floating Michael held his hands up in surrender. “Just looking.”

Moon Jeremy blushed a little. “Babe, he’s a harmless mortal.”

Pudgier Jeremy blinked. “Co-worker?”

Older Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t see it.”

The newest Michael snorted. “He _looks_ like one of the guys we invite to Jeremy’s gangbangs.”

“What?!” It came from most of the Jeremys, but the loudest was the one in question. “What gangbangs?!”

That Michael’s Jeremy giggled. “Six of us get together and they all dick me down. It’s fun.”

A new pair entered. They seemed normal enough. 

Older Michael groaned. “Okay, This is getting out of hand. We need to, like, organize. You,” He pointed to the first two. “Go sit over by the TV along with you two.” He pointed to the two in robes. “Then the sex Jeremys and their Michaels can go sit by the end table. Sort yourselves out.”

The boys grumbled and organized where they were told. Moon Jeremy yawned. “I’m tired,” he complained.

Sun Michael cooed. “If you shrink down you can nap in my hair.”

Moon Jeremy smiled and a twinkling sound seemed to come from him as he became quite small. 

The glowy Jeremy blinked. “Hey what the fuck?”

Sun Michael just lifted the tiny Jeremy up into his hair. 

Floating Michael smacked his glowing boyfriend. “There are children!”

“Sorry! What the heck?” Glowy Jeremy amended. “Why’d he get little?”

Sun Michael scoffed. “Because he’s sleepy.”

“But– That makes no sense? I don’t get little when I’m sleepy?”

“He’s the moon. I’m the sun. Do know know the size difference between the moon and the sun?”

“Wh– You’re like legit the moon and sun? Like you’re not just…I dunno, gods or something?” 

“No, Sorry to disappoint.” 

Old Michael turned to the newest pair. “So what’s you guys’ story. Do you go in the sex category or the magic category?”

The newest Jeremy blinked. “Why is there a sex category, what’s going on, and is that a baby?”

Old Michael pulled the babies closer to himself. “These are our babies. There's a sex category because apparently there’s swinger versions of us.”

“We don’t do that. You have babies? We have three dogs.”

“We have one dog.” Michael nodded to where Peaches was sleeping in Jeremy’s arms.

“Aw!” Newest Jeremy cooed. In the same tone, he said, “Please don’t put us in the sex category!”

“Okay, fine, you and twin boy can be in a third category. Uh… category three. Go sit by the baby’s toys in the other corner.”

That Jeremy pulled his Michael into the corner, pudgier Jeremy doing the same. 

Older Jeremy sighed, petting Peaches idly. “Is this it? Please no more.”

A new pair walked in. “God damn it,” Older Michael swore. 

They looked normal enough. Older Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “These new ones,” he said, “both pairs. What’s their thing?”

Newest Michael blinked. “Our ‘thing’?”

“Mhm. What makes you different?”

“Oh! Probably that we’re mermaids.”

“Excuse me?”

Mermaid Michael just hummed. Floating Michael was starting to turn upside down in the air out of boredom. “Guess they should be with us then. Can I play with a baby?” 

Older Jeremy shook his head. “Absolutely not.” He ushered the new boys into the magic corner. “What about them, though?” He pointed to the second newest.

“Uh,” The Michael started. “I met him while working. And I helped him through some stuff. Now we’re together.”

“Hm. Category three it is then.”

The door opened again and most of the boys groaned. 

“Oh,” The new Michael muttered as they entered. “That’s a lot to unpack.” 

The new Jeremy gulped. “What is happening?”

Tala started fussing, drawing Older Michael’s attention. Along with many other Michael’s attentions. Newest Michael blinked. “Baby?”

The newest Jeremy, along with a couple others, turned to that Michael on instinct. Newest Jeremy sighed. “Oh, you meant a real baby.”

New Michael snorted. “Bug boy is my term of endearment for you, you know this.”

“Doesn’t mean I like it.”

Older Jeremy took Tala from Michael. “I think we should put them to bed. Then,” he looked at the newest Jeremy, “you can explain why he calls you bug boy so we can put you in a category.”

Michael nodded. “We can put Princess in to protect them, right Princess?” The dog was still asleep.

“She says yes.” Jeremy grabbed her under one arm and stood up. “C’mon, better hurry before they start breaking things.”

Michael nodded again, gathering the babies up and hurrying down the hall. 

Gangbang Michael spoke up. “How cursed would it be if everyone fucked, though?”

His boyfriend whacked him. “I don’t want to have sex with myself! The other yous sure. Maybe that one that looks like Jared too.”

His Michael just laughed. Sun Michael reached up to carefully extract Jeremy from his hair to check on him as pudgy Jeremy’s Michael sat on the ground with a sigh, laying back.

Moon Jeremy was fast asleep, having needed a good recharge. 

Pudgier Jeremy pouted. “Category three, huh?”

His Michael laughed. “At least we aren't in the sex category.”

Gangbang Michael snorted. “It’s a shame. It’s pretty fun in the sex category. Lots of sex.”

“Sorry, I don’t talk to people who claim to be me and have sex with my brother, thanks.”

“Right, sure.”

The glowing Jeremy was pouting hardcore. “They took the dog and the babies away,” he whined. 

“Aw,” The floating Michael lowered down to hug him. “It’s alright. We’ll have babies one day. And a dog.”

The door opened again, and glowing Jeremy didn’t let the new pair speak before he told them, “Come over here if you’re magic, over there if you’re only into sex, or over there if you’re miscellaneous.”

The Michael blinked. “Wh-” He looked at all the Jeremys. “Oh geez, that’s a lot of omegas.”

His Jeremy grunted. “Stop looking at them!”

Glowing Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Who are you calling omega?”

“I mean,” The new Michael hummed, pulling his Jeremy into his side. “Obviously you guys. The omegas.”

“The fuck’s an omega?”

The new Michael blinked. “Huh?”

Gangbang Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know what that is either.”

The new Jeremy made a noise. “How?”

New Michael’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well, I’m an Alpha and-” His nose scrunched up. “What’s that _smell_?”

As he spoke a new set walked in. Alpha Michael blinked, eyeing the new Michael distastefully. “What the hell?”

This was the first time Jeremy led the pair instead of walking in after Michael. The newest Jeremy locked eyes with Alpha Michael. “What the fuck?”

Alpha Michael’s eyes narrowed as he pushed his Omega behind him. He sniffed the newest pair, turning to the Jeremy. “Are you- an Alpha?”

“What else would I be?” Alpha Jeremy stood protectively in front of his Michael. “Why do you smell like one?”

Pudgy Jeremy whispered to his Michael. “What the hell is going on?”

Sun Michael had crawled onto the couch at some point, holding Moon Jeremy safely as he curled up to take a nap of his own. 

The Michael from the pair that hadn’t been properly identified hummed, arms thrown over his Jeremy’s shoulders. “I wonder what Coco would do if she were here?”

Alpha Michael grunted. “I’m the Alpha.”

The Coco Jeremy laughed. “Bark endlessly.”

Alpha Jeremy shook his head. “I’m the alpha. How dare you.”

Omega Michael peaked over Alpha Jeremy’s shoulder, blinking curiously and Omega Jeremy. He waved hello.

Alpha Michael scoffed. “How dare I? What?!”

Omega Jeremy waved back cautiously, holding onto his Michael tightly. 

“Yeah, how dare you! Question my classification like that! You’re an omega!”

Omega Michael gave Omega Jeremy a timid smile. 

Alpha Michael snorted. “What, you expect me to believe I’m your Omega? I’d be the worst Omega ever!”

Omega Jeremy smiled back, stepping a little bit out of Michael’s shadow. 

Alpha Jeremy scoffed. “I’m the alpha here. I don’t know what the deal is with all these other dudes, but they smell like betas, so they don’t count.”

Alpha Michael rolled his eyes. “I guess we’re both Alphas then.”

Omega Michael mimicked Omega Jeremy, hesitantly shifting closer, he tried smiling again, this one a little less nervous. 

Meanwhile, Mermaid Michael found himself pulling Jeremy towards the pair dozing on the couch, unsure as to why.

Mermaid Jeremy looked up at his boyfriend in question as Omega Jeremy broke the ice and approached Omega Michael. 

Alpha Michael jolted, watching his Omega carefully. 

Omega Michael squeaked. “Oh! Hi there!”

Mermaid Michael blinked down at the celestial versions of themselves. He felt drawn to the small version of Jeremy for some reason. He looked at his Jeremy, pointing at the tiny one and giving him a confused look.

Omega Jeremy fidgeted. “Hello,” he said quietly. 

Mermaid Jeremy looked down at the little guy and shrugged. He felt the same gravitation toward him as Michael did. 

Mermaid Michael just sat down in front of the couch where they were sleeping, pulling his Jeremy with him. 

Omega Michael gulped, sticking a hand out. 

Mermaid Jeremy smiled at the gesture. 

Omega Jeremy took Omega Michael’s hand and shook it. “A-Alphas, am I right?”

Omega Michael giggled. “Yeah.”

“So dramatic.”

Alpha Michael pouted. “Jerm, come back,” He whined.

Omega Jeremy immediately fell back in line behind his Michael. “Sorry.”

Michael’s pout felt into a look of guilt. “No, I’m sorry, you can play with him if you want.”

Omega Jeremy sniffed. “There’s a lot of hormones in the air,” he said quietly, trying to save his dignity and explain away why he’d obeyed so quickly. 

“Yeah, that’s probably the sex category, huh?”

“I-I guess that includes us?”

A sigh came from the hallway as the original Jeremy and Michael came back into the room. That Jeremy stared ahead. “ _More?!_ ”

Older Michael groaned. “How many are there?!” 

Just as he said that, the door popped open. This time, however, there were way more than just two people entering.

Five Jeremys surrounded one Michael, all dressed in different colors, with very different expressions on their faces. 

“Oh god,” Older Michael grumbled. “Is this hell?”

Older Jeremy only nodded. 

Glowing Jeremy blinked at the newcomers. “They keep getting weirder.”

“Oh Jeez,” Alpha Michael covered his nose. “That one smells like… pure pheromones.” He eyed the red one. “And he has a boner.”

Red Jeremy didn’t hesitate to approach Alpha Michael. “What, you wanna help me out with it?”

“Sorry, I’ve got my own.” He pulled Omega Jeremy close.

Red Jeremy wasn’t fazed. “He can help too, c’mon sweet cheeks.”

A Jeremy in green tried to pull him away. “No, stop, no one’s gonna dick you down.”

Omega Michael tried to subtly pull his Alpha farther away from them.

Alpha Jeremy got the hint and moved the two of them over by the wall.

Glowing Jeremy hummed. “I guess you guys are with us? I don’t really get your thing. Except red guy. He can sit with the sex ones.”

Gangbang Jeremy frowned. “Hey, we don’t want him! He’s trying to get off on his own leg!” He pointed to Red Jeremy, who was grinding against Green Jeremy’s leg as the latter tried to push him off. 

Older Michael buried his face in his husband’s shoulder. “God help us.”

The Michael that had entered with the five Jeremys carefully led the yellow and blue ones over to the unoccupied side of the couch. “Hi.”

Green Jeremy managed to shove Red Jeremy off of him and joined his Michael, along with a very upset looking Purple-clad one. 

Glowing Jeremy returned that Michael’s greeting. “Hey, uh, what’s happening? There’s 5?”

Older Jeremy looked like he was about to scream or pass out. 

The 5 Jeremy Michael hummed. “They’re actually just one Jeremy. He got split into his personality traits or whatever.”

Older Jeremy eyed Red Jeremy. “I hate that one. Can I say that? I hate him. There, I said it.”

Older Michael snorted. “Kinda rude, since he’s part of you, but ok.”

5 Michael pulled the Blue Jeremy close. “This one’s anxiety, Yellow is clumsiness, Green is, like, bro? Purple is squip and bad stuff and red is horniness.”

Older Jeremy sighed. “Actually I hate them all.”

Blue Jeremy started crying. 

All of the conscious Michaels instantly started moving towards him to try and comfort him.

Alpha Jeremy grabbed his boyfriend’s hood. “No.”

Omega Michael whined. “Sorry.”

Older Michael caught himself, shuffling back to his Jeremy where they watched the many other Michaels crowd around the crying Jeremy.

The attention only scared Blue Jeremy more, and he buried his face in his Michael’s chest. The various Jeremys tried to retrieve their respective boyfriends, especially the different looking one, since he was angry his boyfriend seemed to care about a stranger.

All of the Michaels obediently retreated back to their boyfriends. Pudgy Jeremy’s Michael kissed his Jeremy’s cheek. “Sorry. He seemed sad and he’s apparently you.”

“They’re all ugly, Mikey, I’m the only me.” 

Older Jeremy sighed. “I think we should just. Lock our door.”

Unfortunately, before they could, another pair entered. These two seemed normal, the only physical difference being their faces looking a little softer than usual.

The new Michael’s eyes were wide as he looked around. “I _knew_ it!”

Older Jeremy wanted to scream. “Knew what?!”

The soft Michael hugged his Jeremy tight. “I knew we were meant to be boys!”

The undecided Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Huh?” 

His Michael smiled. “Whatever it means, I support them.”

Soft Michael pulled his Jeremy up to the closest pair they saw. “You have a penis, yeah?”

Red Jeremy blinked. “Boy do I! Here, you wanna see? Will you blow me? I’ll be good!”

Soft Michael squeaked, turning to his Jeremy. “Jerm! If he whips it out you can see your penis!”

Soft Jeremy gulped. “What if it’s ugly?” 

Red Jeremy scoffed. “I’ll have you know my dick is the prettiest, lover boy.” He started to unzip his pants. 

Older Jeremy had been dissociating. “What’s he doing?”

Older Michael hummed. “Getting his dick out, I think.”

“What?! No! Stop him!”

Red Jeremy rolled his eyes. “There’s enough of me to go around, babes.”

They were interrupted by another pair walking through the door. These two seemed normal. 

Older Jeremy ran and turned the lock on the door. “Before anyone fucking moves. We need better organization here. Who the hell are all these new guys? And you never explained bug boy?”

The ‘bug boy’ Michael hummed. “He has weird spider powers.”

“What, like Spiderman?”

Bug Boy Jeremy nodded. “You’ve heard of me!”

New Michael blinked. “Oh?”

“I’m Spiderman!” 

Soft Jeremy gasped. “He is _not!_ ” he cried in disbelief. 

Spiderman Jeremy’s Michael nudged him. “Climb a wall or something.”

Spiderman Jeremy nodded. “Right.” He pushed past a group of boyfriends and jumped upwards, sticking to the wall with his hand. He made it up to the ceiling. “Ta-da!”

Many Michaels let out a surprised “Holy Shit!”

The boy jumped down and landed lightly on his feet. “‘M kind of a big deal.” He smiled. 

His Michael whacked him. “Don’t be pompous.”

“I get excited,” he mumbled. 

Older Jeremy had to admit he was impressed by that one, but things were getting out of hand. “We really do need to have some sort of system here, so we can fix this. You,” he pointed to Alpha Michael. “What’s your deal? Magic, sex, or other?”

“Oh, uh. It’s kinda like… magic sex. I guess.”

“You wanna explain that?”

“Please explain that!” Red Jeremy cried. “In great detail! Demonstrate! On me!”

Omega Michael’s stance became a little more defensive as he edged in front of his Alpha. 

Alpha Michael blinked. “Well, like once a month my Omega goes into heat which means he just has to keep having sex until he’s done. Oh, and sometimes it makes me go into rut, so, like, my dick stays in for a while. Jerm really likes to be knotted.” 

The boys near Red Jerm all took a step away as he practically moaned at just the Michael’s words. Alpha Jeremy pulled his boyfriend close. 

Meanwhile, Older Jeremy choked. “You’re an Alpha?” He looked at his husband. 

Older Michael had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. “Wow, that’s crazy. We used to do some nasty shit because Jere- Wait, no, he’ll make me sleep on the couch if i say that, nevermind.”

“I don’t like your attitude, Michael.”

Gangbang Jeremy spoke up. “Two things. What’s knotting? And I think he,” he pointed at the older Jeremy, “belongs over here in the sex boy corner now.”

Red Jeremy giggled. “He has a boner.”

Older Michael cooed at his husband. “After all these years it’s still so easy to get you worked up.” He pulled him into his side, kissing his temple. 

Alpha Michael kept his Jeremy close. “Knotting is when part of the dick expands so you can’t take it out. It’s supposed to make it easier to get prego but Jerm just likes it.”

Omega Jeremy was blushing, but didn’t protest. 

Red Jeremy snuck up behind Alpha Michael. “Hey, sexy, I’m in heat, why don’t you knot me?”

Meanwhile, Soft Jeremy looked sad. 

Alpha Michael blinked. “You’re not my omega, sorry.”

Soft Michael frowned as he saw his boyfriend’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

Red Jeremy grumbled and backed off. 

Soft Jeremy didn’t look up at him. “Now they won’t _stop_ talking about dicks,” he mumbled. “They _all_ have one. Why are we the ones that have to suffer?”

Soft Michael put a hand on his boyfriend’s cheek. “That's just how things ended up, babe. It’s okay. One day we’ll be just like them, yeah?”

“S-Surgery really scares me, Micah, I don’t think I can do that.”

“It scares me too, Miah. It doesn't matter how we look. This,” He gestured around the room. “Just proves that we’re guys, no matter what.”

“S-Still wish we could be part of the conversation or whatever.”

“I know, bud. It’ll be okay, though.”

“I guess.”

Meanwhile Red Jeremy had managed to trade cardigans with another version of himself, and he coaxed Omega Jeremy over toward his Alpha self so he’d have something to talk about. Then, he grabbed Alpha Michael’s hand. “Babe I’m in heat,” he tried again.

Alpha Michael quirked an eyebrow. “You know I can tell from the smell, right? Also, the lack of a mark. You’re not my omega.”

“What?! What mark?! I’m your omega! Fuck me!”

Alpha Michael shook his head. “Not unless my Jeremy wants me to.” 

The newest Michael raised his hand. “We like sex. We do weird shit all the time. Maybe my Jeremy will be up for a three way.”

His boyfriend blinked. “With myself? Dude, that’s kinda fucked up, isn’t it?”

Red Jeremy scoffed. “No! Just fuck me! Anyone! Literally anyone!”

New Michael shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind a Jeremy at each end.” He winked at his boyfriend.

Floating Michael made a noise. “That sounds… well.”

Glowing Jeremy stared at him. “What, Michael? What does it sound like?”

Older Jeremy finally groaned in frustration. “If you could all just shut up for five minu– Stop grinding on the barstool!” he yelled at Red Jeremy. “They were literally considering fucking you!”

Red Jeremy shrugged. “Gotta do what I gotta do.”

Older Jeremy sighed. “Mike, you’re in charge.”

Older Michael hummed. “Right, got it.” His voice became commanding. “All Jeremys get in a line.”

Every Jeremy was instantly in an obedient line, except for Alpha Jeremy, Moon Jeremy, Purple Jeremy, and Blue Jeremy.

Michael nodded. “Okay! Now, You’re each going to tell me what makes you different and I’ll tell you which group to get in, got it? Group one is by the TV, two is by the couch, three is the first corner, and four is the other corner.”

There was a general nod from the line of Jeremys.

“Good. Michaels join your Jeremys once they’ve been sorted.” He moved to the end of the Jeremy line. “You first.”

Red Jeremy grabbed him. “I got in front because I want you to fuck me, I dunno what these bozos are doing in line.”

“Group three.” Michael pointed to the corner. “Go.”

“Fine! But I get my Michael!”

Blue Jeremy choked. “No!”

Older Michael rolled his eyes. “Your Michael has five Jeremys. He’ll go to the group with the majority of them. Wait until everyone is sorted.” 

5 Jeremy Michael hugged Blue Jeremy, petting him soothingly. “Don’t worry, Sweetie. I’m not gonna leave you.”

Blue Jeremy shrank into Michael as Red Jeremy sulked in the corner. The next boy in line stepped up. 

“I’m Spiderman, so like. I’m cool. Right? I’m cool?”

“You’re cool, bud. Group one.”

“Hell yeah!” He scampered off. 

The next Jeremy was a little older than the others, but younger than the originals. “I don’t know what’s special about us?”

Michael hummed. “You guys grew up together, yeah? What made you start dating?”

The Jeremy shook his head. “We didn’t grow up together. I met him at Olive Garden and he got me out of an abusive relationship.”

“Oh!” Older Michael looked surprised. “Well then that’s what's different. Group four. I’m glad you’re not in an abusive relationship anymore.”

Olive Garden Jeremy trudged to that corner. “Thanks..?” he mumbled. 

The next boy in line happily stepped forward. “Hi, I’m a merman!”

Older Michael couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “Group one, then.”

“Sweet!”

One Jeremy further back in the line scoffed. “Aren’t you gonna get him to prove it? He’s got legs, dude!”

Michael tsked. “Don’t be rude, Jeremiah,” He chastised. 

Mermaid Jeremy called from his corner. “It’s no biggie. I’m only a fish boy when I’m wet. Michael too!”

Mermaid Michael nodded from his place beside his boyfriend.

Older Michael hummed. “Next Jeremy, C’mon.”

He stepped up. “I think you know what’s different about me,” he snapped. “I have a twin brother everyone here apparently likes to fuck.”

“I’ve never fucked him. Group four.”

The boy sighed and went to his place. 

“Next?”

Next was Green Jeremy, holding up a Yellow Jeremy. “Hi,” he said. “He’ll fall over if he’s on his own. I’m self-proclaimed BFF Jeremy and this is clumsiness.” He nudged the other boy, who sighed. 

Michael snorted. “Nice, that’s cute. Group one.”

The next boy in line stepped up as those two hobbled away. He smiled. “Hi, I glow! You’re kinda hot. Your babies are cute!”

Michael patted his head. “Group one.”

Soft Jeremy stepped up in the glowing boy’s absence. He looked uncomfortable. “Um.”

Before he could say anything, soft Michael stepped up, whispering something to the Older version of himself. Older Michael blinked. “Oh, okay. That’s cool. Group four.” He gave Soft Jeremy a smile.

Soft Jeremy gave him a slight smile back as he let his boyfriend take him to the four corner. He seemed to let out a big sigh of relief. 

Michael turned back to the line. “Next, please!”

The next boy walked up to Michael. “Uh, I’m assuming you guys _don’t_ have sex like three times a day?”

“Yeah, no. Group two.”

“I thought so,” he sighed, leaving the line as the next Jeremy took his place. 

“I think I’m a two,” he said simply. 

Older Michael quirked an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“I like it when five guys fuck me at once.”

“Yeah, two, go on.” 

He did, and the line moved up again. 

The next Jeremy fidgeted. “Hi.”

“Hi there,” Michael greeted. “Sup?”

“N-Not much, I guess.”

“What’s your thing, then?”

“Actually I don’t think my Alpha likes me talking to you.”

Alpha Michael grunted in confirmation. Older Michael nodded. “Group three, honey.”

Omega Jeremy waited and followed Alpha Michael there instead. The Jeremy that was next was dressed very nicely. 

“Hello,” he said, “I saw a line so I got in it. That’s what people do, right? I didn’t think it would be so boring.” He sighed. “What’s going on?”

Michael snorted. “What makes you different from the other Jeremys?”

He coughed, looking around. “I’d assume by the appearance of their clothing that they’re not royalty?”

Michael blinked. “When did you even get here?”

“A few minutes ago. Michael and I knocked on the door and that one let us inside.” He pointed to Purple Jeremy, who was still not in line.

“Oh, great. Go stand in group four.”

“Where is that?” Prince Jeremy looked around again, and Purple Jeremy not so subtly let another pair inside.

Michael pointed to the corner. “Over there with them.”

Prince Jeremy huffed and strode in that direction. The new Jeremy broke off from his Michael. “Are we supposed to be in a line?”

“Yeah, just get in,” Older Michael sighed. “Next.”

Blue Jeremy had mustered up enough courage to get in line, but started tearing up with panic as he tried to step forward. 

His Michael was right beside him in a second, an arm around his shoulder. 

Older Michael gave him a reassuring smile. “Group one.”

Blue Jeremy tried to move, but was paralyzed in fear. 

His Michael easily lifted him up, carrying him over to their group.

The newest Jeremy blinked. “What am I supposed to do?”

Michael hummed. “What makes you different from all the other Jeremy and Michaels?”

“Um, I dunno?” he offered. “I have a question though? Where are our other boyfriends? I thought I saw Jared, but I dunno.”

“Other boyfriends?”

“Uh, yeah? Evan and Jared?”

“Oh, you guys are polyamorous. Group four.” He pointed to the corner.

“Okay?” Poly Jeremy walked over in confusion. 

Only one Jeremy remained in line, seeing as Purple Jeremy was refusing to participate, Alpha Jeremy had already sorted himself, and Moon Jeremy was still fast asleep. The last Jeremy smiled. “Hey, babe.”

Michael laughed. “Jerm, you didn't have to get in line.”

“Ah, but you said all the Jeremys. Plus I just wanted to kiss you.”

“Aw.” Michael kissed his husband sweetly. “Okay, now. Let’s see. In group one, a.k.a Magic Group, we have Glowing Jeremy, Mermaid Jeremy, Green, Yellow, and Blue Jeremys, and Spider Jeremy. So that’s six Jeremys and four Michaels in group one. Oh, and I guess we can go ahead and add the purple one and the Moon one to that, so group one is eight Jeremys total. And five Michaels.”

Jeremy hummed. “Mm, five Michaels sounds pretty good right now.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “They’re, like, all underage, bud.”

“Babe, I mean five of you. Not those dudes. Plus that one Michael in Group 4 has facial hair and I know you didn’t start growing a beard until you were like 20.”

The Michael in question snorted. “Yeah, we’re 25.” 

Older Michael waved it off. “Group two, a.k.a Sex Group has Gangbang Jeremy and Sex Jeremy. Just two in that one, so that's ten Jeremys and seven Michaels so far.”

“This feels like a callout. This whole thing.” Jeremy sighed. “Group 3?”

“Group three is Magic Sex. In that one we have Red Jeremy, who’s already nutted in his pants a few times by the looks of things, Alpha Jeremy and Omega Jeremy. Thirteen Jeremys and nine Michaels so far.”

Jeremy looked at them. “I’m most upset with that group as a whole I think.”

Michael just snorted. “Okay, then in the Misc. group we have Prince Jerm, Twin Jerm, Trans Jerm, Poly Jerm, and Abused Jerm. In total we have 18 Jeremys, not counting mine, and 14 Michaels. Not counting me.”

“I’d rather not be called Abused Jerm?” one said. 

Jeremy waved it off. “So where would you put me?”

Michael smiled, hands on his husbands hips. “I’d put you in ‘Perfect Jeremy, love of my life, father of my children’ Group.”

Jeremy grinned, staring up into Michael’s eyes. “And am I the only one in that group?”

“God yes.”

Almost all of the Michaels instantly let out a call of “Gay.”

“Hush!” Jeremy chastised. “It’s why I married him.”

Michael just chuckled, kissing his husband sweetly. On the couch, Sun Michael stirred.

The tiny Moon Jeremy whined in his sleep, not wanting to be disturbed. 

Michael yawned, sitting up and cradling the tiny Jeremy close. “Oh, hey.”

“Don’t wanna get up,” the small boy complained. 

Sun Michael giggled. “It’s time for the stars, love.”

“Stars?” Moon Jeremy echoed. 

Sun Michael nodded. “The alignment is over, they need to move.”

Moon Jeremy shook his head. “Let me sleep. You do whatever.”

“Babe, I’m the sun. I can’t do jack shit to the stars.”

“You are a star,” Moon Jeremy slurred. “My star.”

Sun Michael giggled, carefully placing his Jeremy on the coffee table. “Tell Chris it’s time.”

Moon Jeremy sighed, and a tiny phone type device materialized in his hand. He pressed a button on it. After a moment, he spoke. “Hey, Christine. No, everything’s great. Yeah. Well actually, the alignment’s over? Yeah, they need to get back to their homes. No, it was fun! I’m not lying. Okay, fine, we slept through it. I’m hanging up.”

Sun Michael picked him back up. “Now was that so hard?”

“Very.” Moon Jeremy yawned. “They should be disappearing now.”

Older Michael watched as the mass of couples began fading out of reality. “This has to be a fever dream.”

Moon Jeremy tried to project his voice. “Nope! Sometimes the stars align and weird stuff happens. A few centuries ago it was just like this. But, y’know, different.”

Sun Michael got to his feet. “Speaking of, I think your babies are crying. We should be going.”

Older Michael swore. “Tala’s probably hungry.”

Older Jeremy nodded. “I’ve got it, babe. You...make sure those two leave.”

Sun Michael laughed, already halfway out the door. “It was nice meeting you!”

Moon Jeremy waved back through the doorway. “Think of us when you look up in the sky!”

“Yeah,” Michael muttered. “Sure.”


End file.
